LISTMANIA - One of the most popular crazes in our culture is compiling lists. People publish lists of many different things, ranging from the worst Beatle songs of all times to the top 10 reasons why George Bush will be remembered as the worst President in US history. There is even a list circulating on the internet on the top ten positions of having sexual intercourse. Of course, there are have been numerous lists compiled in the Travel Genre, and because I am a traveler and have been in the travel business a good portion of my life, I have decided to create some of my own unique travel lists. Are you ready for my first list?

…….. My 10 least favorite beach resorts of all time…………………….

#1 Pattaya (Thailand) - Sleazy, ugly and noisy beach resort; beaches are dirty and polluted. Way too many beer bars, strips clubs, Thai girls selling their body and drunken pot bellied farangs looking for cheap sex.

#2 Puerto Vallarta (Mexico) – Once a quaint beach town (way back when), development has gotten out of hand. The resort area spreads for miles and miles

#3 Jaco (Costa Rica) - beaches are polluted and not very appealing. Too many bars, loud American tourists, spring breakers and lousy restaurants

#4 Ocho Rios (Jamaica) – Fort Lauderdale, Jamaican style. Devoid of any real personality and a little bit too manicured for my tastes. Main beach is manmade and very antiseptic.

#5 Cancun(Mexico) – beautiful white sand beaches and turquoise waters, but the whole scene is very artificial and plastic - too many juvenile bars and clubs, too much traffic and far too many spring breakers and girls gone wild crowd

#6 Rosarito Beach (Baja California, Mexico) located about 1/2 hour from Tijuana – mediocre beach, nothing really special about this place

#7 San Jose del Cabo (Baja California, Mexico) The dirty gray sand beaches are very unappealing and the most of the resort hotels in this are nothing to write home about

#8 Ixtapa(Mexico) – Lovely beach, fairly quiet scene but the tourism development here is even more plastic and sterile than Cancun.

#9 Paradise Island, Nassau (Bahamas) - beautiful beach with many luxury resorts but too many plastic and phony people who think they are big shots congregate here

#10 Patong/Karon Beach (Phuket, Thailand) - Phuket is Thailand’s answer to Cancun and Patong/Karon are the two most popular resort areas. A tamer and more sanitized version of Pattaya. Nice beaches but way too many shops, shops and more shops.

Keep in mind, that my tastes and preferences may be different than yours as this is a very subjective thing. My choices probably are more of a reflection of my personality and are limited to the places I have actually visited. As a wise monkey by the name of Papa Mono once said – “One man’s garbage is another man’s treasure.”

What are your 10 least favorite beach resorts of all time?

Many people don’t believe me when I tell them that I have been to Jamaica over 30 times. It is true - all you have to do is look at my passport. What is even more astounding is that all my trips to JA took place over a 16-year interval, from 1980-1995 and since Spring 1995, I have not been back. I know what you may be thinking – No, I am not Jamaican, although I’ve been told even with my fair complexion, I could pass. Jamaican girlfriend??? No, I never had a romantic liaison with a lady in Jamaica, although there have been a number of gals that I took a fancy to. Still the question remains - Why did I make so many trips to Jamaica? What is the real story?

All my many trips to Jamaica took place from 1980-1995 for a reason - as a travel agent and tour operator, JAMAICA used to be my bread and butter (my primary destination), and I had a steady flow of clients who traveled to Jamaica for vacation (both tourists and Jamaicans). It was during these years, that I escorted large tour groups every year for the famous Summer Musical festival in Montego Bay known as REGGAE SUNSPLASH. Coincidentally, Reggae Sunsplash sort of fizzled out in the mid 1990s to be replaced by Reggae Sumfest at the same time I disappeared from the Jamaica scene.

Will I return to Jamaica? You betcha – After an absence of nearly 14 years, I am planning to Return to Jamaica, some day soon. It will be a homecoming of sorts for me, as in many circles I am considered an honorary Jamaican. I have some absolutely wonderful memories and experiences in “the land of wood and water” - for a small island, there is so much natural beauty packed into her physical boundaries. I know that there will have been many changes and much new development will have taken place, but that it is to be expected. One thing I know that will not have changed and that is the exuberant, spirited nature of the Jamaican People. To be continued…