Actually the title of this post should be the most distasteful beach resorts that I have visited. Of course, my opinion is subjective and you may disagree with my choices. After all beauty is in the eye of the beholder and one man’s garbage is another man’s treasure. Please note: I have never been to Honolulu, so that’s why it didn’t make my list.
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1. Cancun (Mexico)
   The only redeeming things about this mega resort are the magnificent white sand beaches and turquoise waters of the Caribbean Sea. The sand really looks like freshly fallen snow. The resort area is very synthetic and plastic - one tacky high-rise hotel after another, many built to resemble a Mayan pyramid, march up and down the strip like ants. The resort area is saturated with noisy, juvenile bars, discothèques and nightclubs, and sprawling shopping complexes clutter the landscape.
2. Pattaya (Thailand)
   A favorite haven of sex tourists and budget European package tourists, Pattaya has to be one of the sleaziest beach resorts in the world. The beaches are polluted, traffic is horrendous and the landscape has been stripped of its natural vegetation to accommodate an overwhelming number of noisy beer bars, strip clubs, Gogo bars, nightclubs and cheap hotels and shops. One encounters way too many loud and obnoxious Tigers selling their bodies. The only redeeming thing about Pattaya is your monies will go a long way there.
3. Puerto Vallarta (Mexico)
   At one time this used to be a very picturesque and charming resort town. Not any more. Due to overdevelopment, it has become one big sprawling amorphous blob spreading up and down the coast. Like Cancun, there are far too many shopping centers, noisy bars and discothèques. One redeeming thing about PV - at least you have the feeling of being in Mexico and not some plastic, fabricated resort.
4. Patong-Karon, Phuket (Thailand)
   Phuket is Thailand’s internationally acclaimed playground; outside of Bangkok, more tourists travel here than anywhere else in the Land of Smiles. Patong-Karon, the most popular resort areas, are cluttered with shops, shops and more shops. Patong is a more sanitized (and tamer) version of Pattaya with a good selection of beer bars, discothèques and strip clubs and lots of Thai gals selling sex. Can be a fun place for a couple of days and at least, the beaches are halfway decent.
5. Jaco Beach (Costa Rica)
   Costa Rica’s tackiest beach resort. The beaches are polluted, and the hotels are mostly budget affairs of fairly low quality. Popular with the spring break crowd, party animals and Tico families, there is an assortment of noisy watering holes and bars on the strip. One redeeming factor about Jaco - it is the least expensive beach resort in Costa Rica
6. Ocho Rios (Jamaica)
   Popular with the mainstream tourist and package tourist crowd, Ocho Rios is your quintessential middle of the road resort. It is by far, the least Jamaican of “The Big 3 Resorts” on Jamaica’s North Coast - seems more a like a mini Ft. Lauderdale transplanted to a more tropical setting. In addition, the main beach is one of the most antiseptic and sterile beaches on the island. One redeeming factor - the Hibiscus Lodge and the Jamaica Inn are two of the classiest hotels in Jamaica.