I am conducting a special promotion - between now and November 8, I am asking you to list your top 5 travel memories and briefly explain ‘why’ in the comment box. By November 10, my associate and I will have carefully reviewed all the comments and choose the top 3 entries. First prize will be a valuable souvenir - craft or artwork from Thailand; 2nd prize will be a unique 16 X 20 watercolor print(s) of a tropical landscape mounted on mat board and Third prize will be a 2 DVD set of Calypso Island’s unique travel slideshow videos (fairly high quality). *
————————————————————————————————————————————————

First of all - you’re probably wondering, what are my top five travel memories?

I have to admit it was so very difficult to come up with a top 5 list as I have made so many memorable trips in my short lifetime. Searching my memory bank, I have concluded that the most indelible memories (travel or otherwise) happen when one is a child - at least that was the case for me. My explanation for this is that children are so much more sensitive to new life experiences than fully-grown adults. Ok, enough of this psychobabble. Here’s my top five…

#1 STATUTE OF LIBERTY When I visited New York City as a little boy circa 1957, I was totally awestruck by the Big Apple. I visited so many exciting new places and experienced so many new things - the T-Rex skeleton at the Museum of Natural History, the towering Empire State building, the underground Subway and the Coney Island Amusement Park. What blew me away more than anything else was seeing the Statute of Liberty. As an innocent and naïve child, this impressive Statute represented the embodiment of America. I’ll never forget it!

#2 KING OF THE WORLD Last year, I hiked to the top of Waynu Picchu which overlooks the majestic Machu Picchu archaeological site in the Peruvian Andes. Wow what an experience! I wouldn’t have been able to complete this hike without the camaraderie of my two new Peruvian friends, Edward and Armando. Upon reaching the summit, we proudly declared ourselves “Kings of the World” as we assumed our Condor pose.

#3 THE GRAND CANYON Seeing this spectacular natural wonder for the first time circa 1959 is forever etched in my memory. Up to that point in my life, I didn’t know that such incredible natural beauty like this existed on our planet. Unfortunately, I have never returned.

#4 THE LONG RUN IN JAMAICA In September 1982, I ran from Montego Bay to Negril (a distance of 52 miles) on Jamaica’s North Coast over a 3 day period. No, I didn’t run just for the fun of it – it was a publicity stunt for the staging of a marathon road race in Jamaica. Running along the coastal highway in the tropical heat was very grueling, but in the end, when I reached the Negril lighthouse, I was totally exhilarated. I would do it again in heartbeat.

#5 REGGAE SUNSPLASH In 1981, I attended my first Reggae Sunsplash Music Festival in Montego Bay, Jamaica. For this hardcore reggae enthusiast, I was totally blown away seeing many of my favorite artists - Gregory Isaacs, Dennis Brown, Black Uhuru, Third World, Chalice, Eek A Mouse – perform. I was in Reggae Heaven!

* Please Note: I will need at least 10 people to leave comments on their 5 top travel memories in order for me to give away prize #2 and 3. Only one entry per contestant.

LISTMANIA - One of the most popular crazes in our culture is compiling lists. People publish lists of many different things, ranging from the worst Beatle songs of all times to the top 10 reasons why George Bush will be remembered as the worst President in US history. There is even a list circulating on the internet on the top ten positions of having sexual intercourse. Of course, there are have been numerous lists compiled in the Travel Genre, and because I am a traveler and have been in the travel business a good portion of my life, I have decided to create some of my own unique travel lists. Are you ready for my first list?

…….. My 10 least favorite beach resorts of all time…………………….

#1 Pattaya (Thailand) - Sleazy, ugly and noisy beach resort; beaches are dirty and polluted. Way too many beer bars, strips clubs, Thai girls selling their body and drunken pot bellied farangs looking for cheap sex.

#2 Puerto Vallarta (Mexico) – Once a quaint beach town (way back when), development has gotten out of hand. The resort area spreads for miles and miles

#3 Jaco (Costa Rica) - beaches are polluted and not very appealing. Too many bars, loud American tourists, spring breakers and lousy restaurants

#4 Ocho Rios (Jamaica) – Fort Lauderdale, Jamaican style. Devoid of any real personality and a little bit too manicured for my tastes. Main beach is manmade and very antiseptic.

#5 Cancun(Mexico) – beautiful white sand beaches and turquoise waters, but the whole scene is very artificial and plastic - too many juvenile bars and clubs, too much traffic and far too many spring breakers and girls gone wild crowd

#6 Rosarito Beach (Baja California, Mexico) located about 1/2 hour from Tijuana – mediocre beach, nothing really special about this place

#7 San Jose del Cabo (Baja California, Mexico) The dirty gray sand beaches are very unappealing and the most of the resort hotels in this are nothing to write home about

#8 Ixtapa(Mexico) – Lovely beach, fairly quiet scene but the tourism development here is even more plastic and sterile than Cancun.

#9 Paradise Island, Nassau (Bahamas) - beautiful beach with many luxury resorts but too many plastic and phony people who think they are big shots congregate here

#10 Patong/Karon Beach (Phuket, Thailand) - Phuket is Thailand’s answer to Cancun and Patong/Karon are the two most popular resort areas. A tamer and more sanitized version of Pattaya. Nice beaches but way too many shops, shops and more shops.

Keep in mind, that my tastes and preferences may be different than yours as this is a very subjective thing. My choices probably are more of a reflection of my personality and are limited to the places I have actually visited. As a wise monkey by the name of Papa Mono once said – “One man’s garbage is another man’s treasure.”

What are your 10 least favorite beach resorts of all time?

I consider myself a seasoned traveler – however the total number of countries that I have visited in my short life is only 25. Now that is considerably more than a lot of people that I know, but really falls short compared to some seasoned travelers that I have met on the road. See Resume of a Traveler.

I attribute my rather low total due to the fact that unlike other travelers, I have never been to Europe, where there are so many countries packed into a small geographical area – Spain, France, Germany, Italy, Holland, Denmark, Belgium, Andorra, Poland, Portugal, Italy, Switzerland, Andorra, Austria etc - and I have been a repeat traveler to many of the countries that I have visited – that includes Jamaica (over 30 times), Mexico (about 20 times), Thailand (8 times) and Costa Rica and Barbados (7 times each) rather than visiting a new destination from trip to trip. Another way of looking at this is that I favor quality over quantity.

Now I was really blown away by the travel resume of Dean Oman – this young fellow has visited over 100 countries. Now Dean, who chronologically is a little younger than yours truly, looks to be the measuring stick of a seasoned traveler. For really interesting reading check out his World according to Dean - travel summaries and maps to over 100 different countries. Some very interesting reading; I have bookmarked his site.

Looks like I have a little bit of catching up to do in the 2nd half of my life, if i want to reach my goal of 100 countries. Oh well…

******

The following story is based on events which happened in Negril, Jamaica in summer 1982. The names of people involved have not been changed protect the innocent or naïve. Although this happened over 26 years ago, I remember it as if it was yesterday. Depending on your sensibilities, you may alternately cry, laugh or be shocked by what I have to tell you.

It was a bright Sunday in Montego Bay - Reggae Sunsplash, Jamaica’s international music festival, had just concluded. Most of my tour group were flying home on this day, however about 30 clients would accompany me by bus to Negril, some 50 miles to the west, to recuperate and chill out after the festival. I stayed at Lamar’s, a humble motel on Negril’s West End. I befriended two of clients, Dr. D and his girlfriend, Carol, who were also staying at Lamar’s. Dr. D was an affable chap in his early 30’s, a Grateful Dead aficionado and we hit it off pretty well.

About the 2nd or 3rd day in Negril, Dr. D, Carol and yours truly were enjoying a cold Guinness in Lamar’s outdoor bar—café, when somebody offered us some freshly baked chocolate ganja cake. Now, I usually don’t partake in marijuana, but throwing caution to the wind, I decided to have to eat a large slice of this fragrant smelling cake. Dr. D and Carol followed suit. About 40 minutes later, it was getting dark and the three of us decided to venture out for dinner to nearby Pewee’s, a nice outdoor restaurant on the cliffs. So far, nobody was feeling any effect from the ganja. Dr. D and his ladyfriend ordered a grilled lobster plate and I ordered a vegetarian dish along with some cold Guinness. After awhile dinner was finally served. It seems that the three of us were getting quite giddy - must have been the marijuana kicking in. Dr. D was about to take a bite out of his lobster, when he announced, “Look, the Lobster is crawling on my plate”. Both Carol and I laughed, and I remarked it must be the effect of the ganja cake we ate earlier in the evening. Come to think of it, I distinctively remember it getting hotter and I felt a sensation of smoke in the air. We finished our dinner without further incident, laughing and joking the whole time.

After dinner, we walked up the street to Kaisers, where they were having a live Reggae Show. A group of young Jamaican men congregated at the entrance. We were about to enter the club and pay the cover charge, when Dr. D totally freaked out. He turned around to us and with a very frightened look on his face, he announced that he was afraid someone at the entrance was going to stab him with a knife. Looking at Carol, I told her that the ganja had caused Dr. D to become totally paranoid. Carol understood there was no real danger, only in Dr. D’s mind, but it was decided in the best interests of Dr. D, that she would return with him to Lamar’s and forego the live show.

Bidding Dr. D and Carol adieu, I paid the cover charge and entered the club. After having a rum punch, I surveyed the scene and noticed quite a few very attractive working gals around the club, looking very sexy with their micro miniskirts clinging tightly to their thighs. I was becoming very hot now and I started feeling “the body heat” from the Jamaican ladies. My heart was racing and it was becoming difficult for me to move - it felt like I was paralyzed. Feeling frightened and very vulnerable, it took quite an effort for me to leave Kaiser’s. Once I was out onto the street, I walked safely back to Lamar’s in the darkness of the night.

Morale of the story - Marijuana affects people in different ways. For some people, the herb will bring a sense of euphoria and peacefulness; for other people, it makes them get very giddy. On the other extreme, some people grow very paranoid - their feelings and sensations become overamplified. Be careful when indulging in this potent herb!!!

Actually the title of this post should be the most distasteful beach resorts that I have visited. Of course, my opinion is subjective and you may disagree with my choices. After all beauty is in the eye of the beholder and one man’s garbage is another man’s treasure. Please note: I have never been to Honolulu, so that’s why it didn’t make my list.
***********************************************************

1. Cancun (Mexico)
   The only redeeming things about this mega resort are the magnificent white sand beaches and turquoise waters of the Caribbean Sea. The sand really looks like freshly fallen snow. The resort area is very synthetic and plastic - one tacky high-rise hotel after another, many built to resemble a Mayan pyramid, march up and down the strip like ants. The resort area is saturated with noisy, juvenile bars, discothèques and nightclubs, and sprawling shopping complexes clutter the landscape.
2. Pattaya (Thailand)
   A favorite haven of sex tourists and budget European package tourists, Pattaya has to be one of the sleaziest beach resorts in the world. The beaches are polluted, traffic is horrendous and the landscape has been stripped of its natural vegetation to accommodate an overwhelming number of noisy beer bars, strip clubs, Gogo bars, nightclubs and cheap hotels and shops. One encounters way too many loud and obnoxious Tigers selling their bodies. The only redeeming thing about Pattaya is your monies will go a long way there.
3. Puerto Vallarta (Mexico)
   At one time this used to be a very picturesque and charming resort town. Not any more. Due to overdevelopment, it has become one big sprawling amorphous blob spreading up and down the coast. Like Cancun, there are far too many shopping centers, noisy bars and discothèques. One redeeming thing about PV - at least you have the feeling of being in Mexico and not some plastic, fabricated resort.
4. Patong-Karon, Phuket (Thailand)
   Phuket is Thailand’s internationally acclaimed playground; outside of Bangkok, more tourists travel here than anywhere else in the Land of Smiles. Patong-Karon, the most popular resort areas, are cluttered with shops, shops and more shops. Patong is a more sanitized (and tamer) version of Pattaya with a good selection of beer bars, discothèques and strip clubs and lots of Thai gals selling sex. Can be a fun place for a couple of days and at least, the beaches are halfway decent.
5. Jaco Beach (Costa Rica)
   Costa Rica’s tackiest beach resort. The beaches are polluted, and the hotels are mostly budget affairs of fairly low quality. Popular with the spring break crowd, party animals and Tico families, there is an assortment of noisy watering holes and bars on the strip. One redeeming factor about Jaco - it is the least expensive beach resort in Costa Rica
6. Ocho Rios (Jamaica)
   Popular with the mainstream tourist and package tourist crowd, Ocho Rios is your quintessential middle of the road resort. It is by far, the least Jamaican of “The Big 3 Resorts” on Jamaica’s North Coast - seems more a like a mini Ft. Lauderdale transplanted to a more tropical setting. In addition, the main beach is one of the most antiseptic and sterile beaches on the island. One redeeming factor - the Hibiscus Lodge and the Jamaica Inn are two of the classiest hotels in Jamaica.