Sometimes our minds play tricks on us in the hot tropical sun, especially after several shots of tequila the night before. I admit that I had a very wierd experience the other day; let me explain —— I went on a day excursion to Tenacatita Beach at the northern end of Tenacatita Bay on Mexico’s Costa Alegre Coast. The taxi dropped me off at one of the beachfront palapa restaurants; I proceeded to rent some snorkeling equipment for 80 pesos, which I would use later in the afternoon. I told the young female manager of the establishment to hold the gear for me until that time. Then I scurried over to the men’s bathroom located across the street ‘to do my business’.

After finishing ‘my business’, I walked through the restaurant and made a beeline to the beach. Claiming a lounge chair and beach umbrella, I made like ‘a beach bum’ until about 4:00PM, and then went to the office to claim my snorkeling gear. A young man assisted me; he asked me whether I had paid already, as he did not remember me. ‘Seguro, I paid a young lady earlier in the morning”, I replied in broken Spanish. I sensed that the young man was confused, but he gave me the benefit of the doubt and handed me the snorkeling gear anyway. The color of the gear was black, while the gear that the lady was holding for me was yellow. Go figure! Upon returning the snorkeling gear about an hour later, the young man asked me again in Spanish, whether I’m sure I paid for the snorkeling gear. Repeating what I said before, I replied that I gave a young lady 80 pesos for the gear earlier in the morning.’Ok, No problema”, he said!

As it was getting close to 5:30PM, the agreed pick up time for my taxi, I watched for my ride from my beach lounge chair. Seeing a flash of yellow pass by, I ran out to the street where my taxi was waiting for me at Chitos, the neighboring palapa restaurant. I asked Herman, my driver, why did he pull up so far. He laughed and said that Chitos was the place where he left me off. I was really confused - then my driver explained to me in Spanish that the lady at Chitos was waiting for me the whole day to pickup the snorkeling equipment. Hmm, it took a while for me to understand him, then a light bulb went off into my head, hmmm there was a real mixup here - after going to the bathroom earlier in the day, I didn’t go walk through Chitos to get to the beach but through the neighboring palapa restaurant. After sorting out the confusion in my head, I returned to Chitos next-door neighbor and paid the young man 40 pesos for the snorkeling equipment rental. Returning to Chitos, the manager was gracious enough to refund me 80 pesos and I left her and her co-worker 10 pesos tip apiece.

Laughing with Herman, I knocked my head with my fist several times and said ‘Soy un Coco Loco” (in English, I’m a crazy coconut)!

The time has come for me to reveal the identity of ‘My Secret Paradise’; for those of you who haven’t figured out it yet, the answer is La Manzanilla, a small beach town at the southern end of Tenacatita Bay on Mexico’s Costa Alegre.

Vaya con Dios y Vive el gusano y todos los gusanitos! Coming up Coco Loco……

For those of you out there in cyberspace who have been following this riveting story of this Gringo’s search for his Secret Paradise in Mananaland (MEXICO), stay tuned as we are about to get down to the real nitty gritty - the identity of ‘My Secret Paradise’.

First to recap - ‘My Secret Paradise’ is a small beach town located on the Costa Alegre (Happy Coast), the part of the Pacific Coastline between the famous resort of Puerto Vallarta in the north and the port city/resort of Manzanillo to the south. About an hour’s drive by taxi from the Manzanillo Airport, it is situated at the southern end of beautiful Bay of Tenacatita.

Where did I leave off in my story? I arrived by taxi on Friday afternoon, March 16. Cost of taxi ride was 590 pesos ($54USD). Upon reaching town, I checked into Posada Tonala, which is conveniently located in the center of town about 25 meters from the beach. By far, this small hotel is the best in town; the rest of the hotels in this small beach town are small budget bungalow operations, which cater for the most part to the domestic market. With only 14 rooms, Posada Tonala is definitely not luxurious by any standards, but it is very clean, secure and pleasant place to stay. All the rooms have private shower and bathroom with hot and cold water, ceiling fan and AC and a small television. The owners, Alfonso and Raquel, are very special people and the staff is accommodating and friendly. I know you are probably wondering what is the cost of accommodations for this fine little hotel? I am paying 300 pesos per night ($27 dollars). Definitely a good value!

The journey started in San Francisco on March 17 when I flew on Alaska Airlines on a direct flight to Manzanillo with a brief stopover in Los Angeles. Total time in the air was about 3 hours 50 minutes. The cost for the air ticket from San Francisco was about $523USD - not a bad price.

After going through customs and immigration, I proceeded to the money exchange bureau at the airport to buy some pesos, where the posted rate is 10.90 pesos per dollar, and as ‘My Secret Paradise’ does not have a bank, let alone a currency exchange bureau, I proceeded to buy enough pesos to last me for at least 10 days. Believe it or not, I think I got shorted to the tune of about 20USD worth of pesos - I am guessing my mind was already at the beach!. My suggestion, is to buy no more than 100USD worth of pesos at the airport, and buy additional pesos at one of the currency exchange bureaus (or bank) located in the two small beach towns just outside of ‘My Secret Paradise’; you’ll get a better exchange rate - 11.00 at the currency bureau and 11.10 at the bank respectively. Hint: When you exchange your money for pesos, make sure you get a receipt and double check that you got the proper exchange.

After I bought some pesos, I went to the transportation booth, where I proceeded to buy a ticket for a taxi to ‘My Secret Paradise’. The fare to this ‘not so secret hideaway’ is at a set rate of 590 pesos (approx 54USD) per person, although I think the rate on a per person basis would be less for 3 or 4 passengers traveling together. The only way to get to this small beach town or any of the other beach towns located north of the airport is by taxi.

Ok, I know what you’re thinking, where is this ‘Secret Paradise’ that I keep on talking about and what is the real name of the place? Patience, I will tell you in my next post, believe me, all will be revealed!

Like most beach towns around the world, ‘My Secret Paradise” is considerably busier on the weekends, as many people from Guadalajara, Manzanillo and the outlying areas flock to this small beach town, and on a 3 day holiday weekend ‘My Secret Paradise” really rocks - many of the Mexican tourists camp out on the beach. On my first Saturday here (which was part of a 3 day holiday weekend), the beach was throbbing with activity- most of the beach chairs were occupied and the beachfront palapa restaurants were doing a brisk business. I was a little bit surprised to see so many people here - but alas this place has not been a secret for some time now. One thing I observed - the gringos for the most part tend to congregate towards the southern end of the beach where most of the beachfront apartments are located, whereas the Mexican tourists assemble a little further up the beach. I was a little disconcerted with the crowds and the noise, but WTF!

On Tuesday, the beach was relatively deserted and very quiet, as almost all the Mexican tourists went home. A difference of night and day! Finally, I said to myself, some peace and tranquility - exactly what I was looking for when I came to “My Secret Paradise”. The rest of the day, I just relaxed and did virtually nothing. Just wasting away in Margaretville…..

Believe it or not, during Easter Week, everybody tells me that over 10,000 people descend upon ’ My Secret Paradise”. It seems that throughout Mexico, most people receive time off from work during this time period. It’s heard to fathom, to see that many people on the beach. Must be quite a sight! As much as I disdain crowds and noise, it is good thing I’ll be out of here before the stampede.

I was having breakfast at Girasol Bistro when I noticed a very interesting poster on the wall (see picture). There are a fair number of environmentalists, both Mexicans and Expat gringos, in this small community of ‘Paraiso Secreto’. Earthwatch and other environmental organizations routinely conduct classes and organize field trips to the nearby mangrove swamps for oversea college students and volunteers. There is definitely a concerted effort to protect the environment, wildlife and natural beauty of the area, an area that is currently being threatened by greedy developers. A little further down the coast, there is a beach where olive ridley turtles come to nest. Traditionally, some of the locals believe that eating turtle eggs is a natural aphrodisiac and will give a man extra virility and staying power (Hey, guys just get some Viagra).

The poster addresses the issue of men poaching turtle eggs. Translating into English, It says - Are you a real man? Do not eat turtle eggs. Turtle eggs are not aphrodisiacs. RIGHT ON!

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I was caught slumming at the “Paraiso Secreto Beach” by the manager of one of the the beachfront apartments. My crime - I used one of the beach chairs and umbrellas which are for the exclusive use by the guests of the property. My Bad! I was subsequently evicted, 86ed, told to take a hike (Read full story). Embarrassed, I slunk off into the sunset. Hey, I admit that I was guilty as charged and I am now repenting for my bad behavior; I have learned my lesson. Yesterday I returned to the beach and took some pictures of the crime scene which I am sharing with you now.

Hey, Don’t all Gringos look alike?

On my first day in ‘Mi Paraiso Secreto”, I took a stroll from my hotel to the beach, a short block and ½ from my hotel. Looking across the crescent shaped bay, the lovely gray sand beach seemed to go on forever. A popular weekend destination with Mexicans from Guadalajara (the capital of Jalisco), on this Saturday morning, La Playa was especially busy as it was part of a 3 day holiday weekend for all of Mexico - on Monday, all banks, schools and government offices were closed in honor of one the heroes of the Mexican Revolution. About 150 yards ahead of me, the beach was blanketed by a sea of plastic tables with attached beach umbrellas and chairs fronting the many beachside restaurants, most of them occupied by Mexican tourists and a smattering of gringos. Looking at the crowd of tourists ahead of me, it dawned on me that ‘My Secret Paradise” has not been a secret for some time now. Many Gringos in particular ‘discovered’ this small beach town after the big earthquake and Tsunami of 1995 walloped this area.This devastating event made the front pages of many newspapers around the world and put this town on the map.

Undeterred by the sea of tourists ahead of me, I eyed some reclining lounge chairs shaded by some large beach umbrellas just a short distance away. Vacationing gringos occupied a couple of them but at least 3 lounge chairs were vacant. As this setup was exactly what I was looking for , I decided to claim one of the lounge chairs and ‘chill out’ for the remainder of the day. I hesitated a bit after reading the small sign on the fence, which warned that the lounge chairs and beach umbrellas were for the exclusive use of the guests of the establishment, which in this case looked like a handful of beachside condos. After a little debate inside my head, I plopped down on the lounge chair and proceeded to pull out my beach novel of choice, Skinny Dip by Carl Hiaasen. I figured that the odds of being getting evicted for slumming on this private property were very slim as nobody would come out and check, and if they did, I would probably go undetected, as All Gringos look alike, don’t they?

About an hour passed by as I immersed myself into my novel. Periodically, I was approached by a handful of beach vendors offering their wares that ranged from pastries, cheap jewelry to hammocks and serapes. The vendors were not that aggressive;after telling them ‘No ahora’ (not now), they quietly moved on. By far, the most popular beach vendor was selling ice cream from a bicycle cart to the accompaniment of the popular instrumental tune, Alley Cat (circa 1962). To the left of me were a small group of young men who were very loud and annoying; I was tempted to tell them to ‘Shut the F**K up’, but common sense prevailed and I pretended to ignore them.

About an hour into my relaxation, a middle aged Mexican gentleman with a very surly look on his face approached me, who I deduced was the manager of the beach apartments, and in no uncertain terms he told me to get lost, take a hike. I thanked him for his hospitality. For a moment, I thought about offering him some money to rent the lounge chair for the day but common sense prevailed and I walked away quietly. Hmm, Now I always thought that all gringos looked alike; I guess I was mistaken.

My first morning in Mi Paraiso Secreto, I had breakfast at a popular café, El Girasol Bistro which is located right across the street from the zocalo and about 25 meters from the beach. I had a large fruit plate, homemade toasted bread and coffee. The fruit plate consisted of a mix of fruits in season including kiwi, grapes, mango and apples - price was about 3.25USD (35 pesos); the coffee was organic and shade grown for 1.80USD (19 pesos) but with free refills and the home made bread-toast was about 1.90USD (20 pesos). Guests have free Wi-Fi on a secured network if they are patrons of the café. Good deal! Otherwise it is 5 pesos for a ½ hour and for an hour, 10 pesos. The coffee, by the way is some of the best I’ve had in Mexico. I just thought I would mention the prices just to give you an idea of how much it costs to eat a tourist restaurant in this small beach town.

Later that night, I had dinner at the same cafe (brought my laptop with me of course) and had a vegetarian spinach salad for about 6.90USD (75 pesos) and a tortilla soup with avocado for 3.25 (35 pesos). Prices seem to be about 25% less than the states.

The proprietor of El Girasol, Davison Collins, is a very interesting fellow. Born in Wyoming, he relocated to this small beach town a couple of years ago. A leading environmentalist in the area and an avid birder, he conducts birding tours of the nearby mangroves - he has conducted this tour in the past for a number of Audubon Society Groups

I met a lot interesting people at his café; while having dinner there, a group of people from Earthwatch, an organization which deals with conservation and environmental issues, were gathered there for a briefing.

Funny thing happened while going through customs at the Manzanillo Airport in Mexico, gateway to ‘My Secret Paradise” just up the coast. Basically the whole customs procedure in Mexico consists of depressing a button, if the light above the button turns green, you go through customs without having your baggage inspected. If it turns red, then you get ‘the treatment” from the customs officers. Most of the time the light turns green; every now and then it turns red. I believe it’s sort of a random affair but what do I know.

Anyhow, I was in the back of the line for customs with a very tall gringa lady from the USA. There was some humorous banter between us as who was next in line to go thru customs, she graciously abdicated and let me go first. Jokingly, she said to me ’ if you get the red light, then I would have ‘bitten the bullet for her” and saved her from ‘the treatment”. Unbelievably, when I pressed the button and the light turned red, so that meant my bags would be scrutinized.

Looking back at her, she smiled at me and as the customs officer proceeded to check out my bags. As he opened up my small carry-on duffel bag, he pulled two small ziplock bags containing a 10-day supply of oolong and while tea and another ziplock bag containing walnuts and dried prunes. Oops - supposedly one risks a fine by Mexican Customs if you attempt to bring any fruit or plant matter into the country. After a five-minute discussion with his superior officer, they told me I could go through.

Good thing I ate my orange on the airplane just as we were landing. That could have really gotten me in trouble (the straw that broke the camel’s back) ! LOL

Inspection by Mexican customs is sort of a ‘Luck of the Draw” kind of thing!