Went to the fortune teller
To have my fortune read
I didn’t what to tell her
I had a dizzy feeling in my head

Said she’d take a look at my palm
Said “Son do you feel kind of warm?”
And she looked into her crystal ball
Said “You’re in love.”

Last November, I was strolling down the Sukhumvit in Bangkok one night on my way to one of my favorite bars. On the corner of Soi 26, there is a female fortune teller who sets up shop every evening. Well, as a cheap diversion, I thought it would be fun to have my fortune read. After flattering me about how handsome I was and how my business would flourish in the future years, she said I also have some bad news for you. She said although, I could expect to live a very long time, I should be forewarned that I will have stomach problems in the not too distant future.

“Ah ah,” I proclaimed with a pained look on my face , “Thanks for warning me, right now I’m headed over to this new Indian Restaurant down the street for dinner”, as I payed her fee and walked away, chuckling to myself.

Oliver and Freda’s baby in Pai. This baby was a happy camper, always smiling and giggling! For the story on this baby, go to It’s a small world after all.

It’s a small world when you’re a tourist. When you’re traveling in a foreign country like Thailand, it’s so easy to meet other travelers. As travelers are prone to do, many seem to follow the same itinerary. As an example, take the tourist circuit which begins in Chiang Mai in Northern Thailand; from there many travelers continue due west to the small tourist enclave of Pai, then onto Mae Hong Son with a brief stop at the mountain resort of Soppong to visit the famous Tham Lod Caves. It’s funny how the nice folks you met in Pai, you later run into in Soppong or Mae Hong Son, the next two stops on the tourist circuit.

Case in point, I met Oliver and Freda, a friendly Danish couple, who were traveling with a young infant girl on the bus from Chiang Mai to Pai ; one night in the village of Pai, we had dinner and drinks together. About 5 days later, I ran into them wandering the streets of Mae Hong Son and later that night we had dinner together at Mae Tung huts. While having breakfast at a small cafe in Pai, I met these two German guys who were biking all around Northern Thailand; later on in the journey I ran into these guys at a bar in Mae Hong Son. We shared some beers together and traded stories about our adventures in Thailand. While waiting for the bus to Soppong at the bus station in downtown Pai, I met this very interesting French fellow by the name of Paul, who had recently served some time in Thai jail for some ganja trafficking and upon his release, he became became best of friends with the Thai policeman who arrested him. In Mae Hong Son, serendipitously I ran into him while having breakfast at the Sunflower Cafe. Later on, we went out together for a night on the town and as all travelers do, we traded stories about our many misadventures in the Land of Smiles.

There is absolutely no other place like Pai, a small off beat tourist enclave located in the mountains of Northern Thailand. Situated halfway between Chiang Mai and Mae Hong Son, Pai reminds me of a mellowed out rural version of Khao San Road, that famous backpacker tourist ghetto of Bangkok, but without the crowds and all the hustle and bustle. While I stayed in Pai for only a couple of days, I met tourists of so many different nationalities - Israelis. Aussies, Kiwis, Swedes, Danes, Finns, Flemish (Belgium), Italians, Swiss, German, French, Canary Islanders, Brits and Canadians. Funny thing, I really did not meet any other Americans. While Pai is somewhat devoid of Thai character, it has some wonderful panoramas and the air is absolutely wonderful; the air quality reminds me of me of being in the Sierra Nevada Mountains, crisp, pristine and unpolluted. A lot of people stay in Pai for months at a time, just hanging out and escaping from a life they left behind, while other travelers, like myself, stayed there just a couple of days before continuing on the tourist circuit to Soppong and Mae Hong Son. Many artists congregate in Pai; apparently they find the ambiance very conducive to their artistic juices.

During my last visit to Thailand in November 2004, I traveled through the scenic Yunnanese village of Mae Salong, located in the mountains of the Golden Triangle. Mae Salong is a very unique and important place, not only because of its historical origins but also as the one of the most important tea growing regions in Thailand. Many of the villagers trace their ancestry to members of Chinese Nationalist party who fled China (and resettled in Thailand) during the communist takeover in late 1940’s. Strolling around the small town, you’ll find the Chinese influence very strong with most of the shops and many of the homes decorated with Chinese ornamentation and with many of the inhabitants speaking Mandarin.

Tea is king here; the surrounding countryside is covered by a green carpet of tea, as far as the eye can see. Small tea tasting rooms are scattered throughout the small village selling so many different grades of tea including green oolong, which seems to be the creme de la creme of the tea world. The largest tea plantations are located just outside of town and are well worth a visit. Ms. Ming, the gracious owner of Mae Salong Villa (the hotel where I stayed) explained to me about the origins of the tea industry and about the different grades of tealeaves sold commercially. It seems that the Mae Salong Chinese community has maintained very close ties with Taiwan, which remained a stronghold of the Chinese nationalist party after the Communists took over mainland China. The tea industry got a kick-start when some choice tea plants were carried over from Taiwan and planted in the hills of Mae Salong. Ming’s husband owns one the major tea plantations in the area but as Ms. Ming explained to me, there is more money to be made in the tourism business these days as the tea business is very labor intensive and the profit margins are small.

Massage on the Beach!

Not too long ago, I had a very interesting adventure at a very reputable Thai massage clinic in Bangkok that specializes in Korean style massage.

After receiving “the works” including a body shampoo, a salt scrub, a hard but thorough massage and a walk on my back, the young massage therapist asked me in a very thick Thai accent “if I haPEE?”. Well, as is my custom, I drink copious amounts of green tea in the morning hours (I had also accepted hot tea during my massage session) and everybody knows when you drink a lot of tea, sooner or later you’ll have to urinate. Given my condition, I replied not yet but I would probably be ready to ‘haPEE’ pretty soon. I knew she did not understand much English, as she kept asking me over and over again whether I hapEE? So I asked her “do you want to haPEE with me?” By now I realized, she did not understand me at all as she kept asking me the magic question. Dumfounded, It finally dawned upon me that she was not asking me not if I have to pee but whether I was Happy! So, I said, oh, you make me very haPEE as I rushed to the toilet.

Idyllic scene at Klong Prao Beach, Koh Chang

In Thailand, there seems to be a general tolerance of homosexuality; traveling throughout the country, I’ve encountered many katoeys (male homosexuals) in all walks of life. Katoey is Thai slang for a gay male. In Bangkok and in the popular beach resorts of Pattaya and Phuket, there are dedicated Katoey bars, strip clubs and Katoey Extravaganza Floor Shows which are geared for the most part towards the gay farang(westerners) crowd. Believe it or not, there are many homosexual farangs who travel to Thailand to have a sexual liaison with a katoey. A certain percentage of the katoeys like to dress themselves up as women (transvestites) and a certain percentage are transsexuals. Of course, Thailand has a reputation around the world as having the best facilities for a sex change operation.

As a travel agent, I have inspected a fair number of hotels in Thailand and there always seems to be at least one katoey who is a hotel employee. Does not bother me in the least, so long as they don’t get any funny ideas. I had a somewhat disturbing but relatively harmless encounter with a katoey, during my last visit to Koh Chang, a beautiful island located in eastern Thailand.

The incident happened last November. After checking into KB Bungalows, a small bungalow operation located in the Kai Bee resort area, the manager informed me that the room I booked for was unavailable for the night. As a result, I would be accommodated into a deluxe bungalow with large king bed. A young man escorted me to my room; he had kind of a feminine manner about him and seemed to be making “eyes at me”. My katoey detector went off immediately. As he checked me into my room, I thought it would be best to “cut the bull off at the pass” by letting him know diplomatically that I wasn’t into boys per se. Seeing that I had a very large bed, I remarked to him, that with such a big bed, I better find some ladies to help occupy it with me. I knew he understood enough English to get the message.

Well, the next day, the manager had me change rooms. The same young fellow escorts me to my room in another bungalow. Going up the steps to the room, I felt a hand lightly tickle my ass; I immediately brushed the hand away. Then, as I was in the room, the young fellow tried to fondle “the family jewels”. I pushed his hands away and softly pushed him in the stomach with my fist. Glaring at him and my pointing my finger at him, I told him in no uncertain terms that if he ever tried those maneuvers again, I would bust him up really good and break both of his arms or his neck and “make sure for the remainder of my stay, if he was concerned about his well being, it would be in his best interests to keep his distance.” In a menacing voice, I asked the boy if he understood? Shaking, in a soft voice, he said he did. For the remainder of my stay at KB bungalow, the frightened katoey avoided me like the plague and there were no more incidents. After much consternation, I decided to tell the hotel manager about her “naughty employee”. The manager said she was sorry; somehow, I have a feeling though that, this young man was a relative of the hotel manager, so he probably did not even get a reprimand for his bad behavior.

Royal Project